Dad Jokes make me laugh
Why did the golfer bring two pair of pants? In case he got a hole in one…
So, this is Father’s Day weekend and I have to tell you that I have mixed emotions about celebrating the best job and title anyone could ever be given. Like my father before me, I am flawed and I try and work on my flaws every day. But being a dad was and still is the best thing that has ever happened to me. I am lucky enough to have a front row seat to life as a Dad, a front row seat to the ups and downs, the victories and losses, the successes and failures, the laughs and tears, the incredible hugs and adolescent indifference.
Why did the football coach go to the Bank? To get his quarterback…
I have always viewed being a father as a gift, a gift from God and I tried to live up to the image I had of a father. I didn’t always make it but it was from a lack of experience, not from a lack of trying. I wish someone would give us a proper handbook on how to be a dad but they don’t. There are lots of books to read about being a dad but none of them ever really illustrate what to do when your child is hurting on the inside, when they are being bullied in school or they have had their heart broken. There is not one single handbook for dad’s that tell you how to react to that stuff so we all just awkwardly do the best we can.
Did you hear about the claustrophobic Astronaut? He just wanted a little more space…
Yes sir, it is a privilege to be a dad and even though it is emotionally tough, terribly confusing and incredibly rewarding all at the same time, it is a job to relish and cherish. Now that I am reaching an age where there is far less miles ahead of me than there are behind me, I get to look back and see how I did. I get to see how my baby girls grew up to be strong women and I get to pat myself on the back and say, “thank you God for not letting me screw that up”.
How do you fix a broken pumpkin? With a pumpkin patch…
I enjoy the attention that we get on Dad’s day but I can honestly say that I wish gifts weren’t required because the gift has already been given. The gift of fatherhood lasts from the minute you hold that baby in your arms to the time you draw your last breath. That is one hell of a gift.
What did the sink tell the toilet? You look flushed…
Don’t get me wrong, I do love the well thought out cards, poems and the personal notes, those are all wonderful and quite often I have to read them in private so no one sees me ball up and cry. I also love any handmade gifts, those are priceless. I will take the handmade finger turkey from kindergarten over a Rolex any day of the week.
Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 ate 9…
The first time your child tightly wraps their little arms around your neck, you truly understand what a gift you’ve been given. You can’t illustrate that emotion in a handbook. Even writing this blog I will never be able to explain to any new dad the emotional roller coaster ride you are taking and the fulfillment that you will have as you watch them grow. I will not be able to illustrate how lucky you are and what a gift you’ve been given.
Did you hear the rumor about butter? Sorry, I refuse to spread it…
It’s hard to explain that “wait till your father gets home” comment that we all hate but are forced live with. I spent a great deal of time, (more than I ever should have) on the road and away from my kids so I can safely say that when I returned home, the last thing I wanted to do was be the “heavy” and dole out punishment. What I wanted was genuine hugs and kisses and by golly I was lucky enough to get it. After they grow up and they are no longer there to welcome you home, the gift of fatherhood continues to give because that ache in your heart because of their absence is God reminding you how lucky you were and are.
What state is known for its small drinks? Minnesota!
I could go on and explain what it is like to be a grandfather but holy cow that is a whole other blog! But to be clear, Grandchildren are God’s way of reminding you again, in case you didn’t get the message the first time around, just how lucky you are.
What kind of shoes does a lazy person wear? Loafers…
I would like to say Happy Father’s Day to every dude out there that are giving it your best shot, trying to do the right thing but sometimes doing the wrong. Don’t ever give up, don’t ever quit because the best name you can ever be called is Dad. Lastly, I would also like to say Happy Father’s Day to my children and Grandchildren. Thank you all for allowing me to be your dad and thank you for the gifts that you give me every day.
No More dad jokes until next year…