Luckily, my mom saved a Christmas ornament I made as young boy back in 1974. It was a simple flat wooden ornament of a little boy ice skating. He has a scarf and a smile and he is happy to be skating on the ice. I didn’t actually fashion the ornament myself, I merely painted it. I must say with complete modesty of course, that it was an exquisite paint job. Much like the Sistine chapel or the Mona Lisa, this early “Rembrandt style” work by yours truly has withstood the 140-degree heat of the attic in the summers, being unpacked and repacked for nearly 50 years. I have no idea why someone didn’t recognize my strict, yet flamboyant artistic ability 50 years ago and immediately pack my meager possessions and send me off to Juilliard school for the musically gifted and artistically talented but that’s not the point.
Each year we wake these ornaments from their 8-month slumber in the attic and as they are gently unwrapped for inspection and consideration of placement on the tree. Placement on the tree is as important to an ornament as your seat assignment at a wedding. So, as we unpack and unwrap these wonderful treasures, a torrent of memories come to the surface. Memories so real you can smell them and taste them and sometimes you can even hear them. You gently hold them in your hand and remember, you remember lots of cool stuff. Not one single time have I ever unpacked an ornament and felt lousy. The event of unpacking the cherished ornaments is just as important as the season itself. Each ornament you carefully unwrap from its protective tissue paper or box and strategically place on the tree is like a mini teleportation device, it sends us back to a moment, a place or a person and every time you go back to those moments in time you remember good stuff.
Over the course of 50 years, one marriage, 2 children and 4 grandchildren, I have collected a few ornaments. We now have 6 Christmas trees, (all fake) happily erected in my home with enough ornaments to decorate every single one of them however, 3 out of the 6 trees are just for show and are designed to convince the neighbors that my Christmas spirit is far greater than theirs. Each tree is placed in every front window of my home so the neighbors can see them as they sheepishly peer out their windows at my house. So far, the “tree in every window” tactic has worked quite well, the neighbors have made no comments whatsoever. I believe that their silence in the matter is a clear admission of decorative holiday defeat. Having a tree lit in every window has had a side benefit also, it has safely kept me off the roof to hang lights… It is my opinion that no grown man or woman on the south side of 60 years old should ever crawl around the roof ledge hanging lights. Anyway, without twinkling lights on the roof, my “tree in every window” looks really good, you should check it out when you have time but keep in mind that the clock is running. I like to have them down no later than June 1st.
Back to the point, there are ornaments that people have given me, very sentimental stuff. Stuff that was hand crafted by my children such as my little skater guy was hand crafted for my mom or perhaps they are funny ornaments that a friend or family member saw in a store and thought of me and decided I must have it. I am always flattered by this and they always come with an explanation and usually they are correct in the way they connect me with the ornament. There are the baby’s first Christmas ornaments and for certain, they have to be proudly displayed at the front of the tree every year. As I mentioned, the position on the tree signifies the level of sentiment or importance. Sometimes an ornament can rotate around the entire tree several times in a lifetime.
An ornament that is on the back of the tree facing the wall has either diminished in value over the years, lost its relevance, become too unsightly to display due to attic temperatures or you just flat out forgot why you have it. Never the less, you know it has some sort of sentimental meaning and therefore cannot be discarded. This type of ornament is one step away from its permanent resting place but not discarded, never discarded.
So, you go ahead and hang the ornament that is not as memorable as it used to be on the back of the tree because next year you might remember its meaning if you think about it long enough. We all understand that memory loss is a real thing and must be dealt with accordingly, in small increments. Now, even if the ornament is too broken, warn or tattered to be placed on the back of the tree, it is never discarded, it is simply wrapped back up in its protective tissue paper and placed lovingly back in the storage box, its final resting place. Please understand that even if the ornament has writing on it that has faded badly but you can still make out the words “Woolworth’s valued customer 1972”, it cannot be discarded. 1972 was a good year with lots of Christmas memories. It was the year of my brand-new bell-bottomed pants and my Rockem-Sockem robots. Unforgettable! I still hear the sound the robots in a boxing ring make when their heads pop up after being thoroughly beaten about the face.
I can’t stress to you enough that discarding any Christmas ornament is a sin, I believe it says that very thing in the new testament somewhere that; Thou shalt not discard Christmas Ornaments, ever. Ok, maybe it’s not in the new testament but I’m sure I heard it at the barbershop and those guys are always right. Even if it’s not a sin, you’re just inviting bad karma. You’d be better off adopting a black cat, stepping on every crack between you and Brazil and taking a sledge hammer to your neighbor’s bathroom mirror. Two are just begging for bad luck and one just might get you shot. Ornaments can NEVER be discarded. Why would you anyway?The memories are just too good. And so it is written…