How did everything flip so quickly? Just two short miserable years ago, we had our dedicated and fearless front-line workers, the nurses, doctors, cops, firefighters, giant retailers, liquor store owners and truck drivers showing us that the pulse of a nation/world was still alive, just barely, but still alive. God Bless all those saints… back then.
We applauded them as we watched hospital staff’s across the country as they took time to not only care for the afflicted but to also post amazing choreographed musical videos, while cops in riot gear and storm trooper blast shields that covered their face were told to stand down as stores were looted and towns across the fruited plains were burned to the ground in the name of “peaceful protests” because… “we were all in this together”.
We happily complied when we were told that a hammer, screwdriver, bucket of bolts, or a 15-inch chop saw with rotating and mutating capacity needed for your personal or business use was more safely purchased at Home depot yet, Billy Bob’s hardware store on main street America was told to close up, board up and shut up. At the time, we really didn’t mind that Billy Bob’s hardware was forced to close because honestly, Billy Bob’s prices were always so much higher than the big boys. It didn’t factor in at the time that when we went to see Billy Bob, he knew our name and he sponsored our little league team and cheerleading squads without requiring we fill out 14 thousand documents of intent with a 501C3 attached in triplicate only to be later told, NO.
No sir, we were told that because of its intelligence and selective nature, the ravages of an unseen but deadly disease could tear through Billy Bob’s hardware store, mauling its workers and customers without a hint of remorse, but could be stopped dead in its tracks by the Sani-wipe station at Lowes.
Now, two years later, Billy Bob’s hardware is out of business or hanging on by a thread with a FOR SALE sign in the window while the Lowes and Home Depot reported record earnings for the last two years of misery yet, due to “supply chain issues” they can’t stock the hammer, screwdriver, bucket of bolts, or a 15-inch chop saw with rotating and mutating capacity in their giant stores and if they do manage to stock it…(hehe)… they are now charging higher prices than Billy Bob’s hardware store was charging, and of course, they still don’t know your name.
For some unknown and yet to be explained reason that was never illustrated on the show the “Walking Dead” toilet paper became its own form of currency. I wasn’t around for the stock market crash of 1929 and I never had any first-hand knowledge of the lengthy “Bread lines” that were a bi-product of the Great depression that followed, but I was taught about them and I did see illustrations of them in history books. I can’t imagine the fun the graduating class of 2080 will have laughing about the great “toilet paper lines” of 2020.
You know, my dad grew up as a boy in the great depression and it left an indelible impression on him that was clearly evident until the day he died in 2008. Thankfully, his biggest fear was certainly not having enough toilet paper. In all truthfulness, his biggest fear that literally kept him from sleeping at night was…not having enough food. You see, as a result of his first-hand knowledge of what it was like to be truly hungry, he worked tirelessly planting, growing and canning, so much so that it was not uncommon to see three freezers stocked full of canned food at any given time in our garage or utility room. If I ever asked or complained about the work I was having to do to squirrel this canned sustenance away, he would quickly let me know the reason, “son, you don’t ever want to be hungry”, not “Son, you don’t want to ever wipe your backside with anything but an oversized, double super soft, teddy bear squeeze roll of Charmin”.
Yes, I firmly believe that the great toilet paper lines of 2020 will illustrate for future generations what complete idiots we were and are. Thank goodness, I can safely say, I’ve never known what it is like to be really hungry, my dad endured that feeling for me and he made it his mission in life that I didn’t have to. What my generation will pass on to the next generation is this, “I hope you will never have to endure the feeling of single ply toilet paper pressed against the business portion of your bum, especially if you happen to be in a hurry, it will scar you for life”, no pun intended.
Now, two years have gone by and we have learned to follow the science without question. You know the science that told us that cloth masks work, wait, no they don’t. We were told that you have to wear the “made in China” weave paper kind, wait those didn’t work either. I may get the number wrong but you’ll get the idea, the science tells us that you have to have the ND-12000BTU, also “made in China”. This one particular mask apparently captures and violently beheads the virus inside the secret pointy chamber that makes us all look like Pinocchio. I’m told that under a microscope, you can actually see the virus begging for mercy as the hooded ND-12000BTU henchman raises his axe high above his head and laughs as he whacks the virus and watches as the virus’s head goes tumbling down what looks to be ancient Mayan temple stairs.
What we also found out through science, is that the virus has height limits of effectiveness. If one walked through a restaurant unmasked, your chances of catching a disease are 18 million percent but the minute you sit down at your table and order a beverage, your chances of contracting the disease are virtually zero. Thank goodness the mask mandates in many states are gone but there are a few states remaining where the virus has their decision makers in a Rick Flair double arm bar sleeper hold. I am eternally grateful I don’t live in one of them. Who knew that Rick Flair and the double arm bar sleeper hold would be the reason the city that “never sleeps” finally went to sleep.
I’ve learned that some of those “sleeper-hold” states are now terminating the employment of the very same front-line workers that were there for us when “we were all in this together” simply because they don’t want to take a vaccine that has proven to be less effective than originally hoped. We are up to our fourth jab and we continue to keep our fingers crossed. Bring it on Rick Flair!
Somewhere, we flipped, it use to be “my body, my choice” when we were discussing terminating the life of an unborn child. If I have control of what comes out of my body, I should have control of what goes in it, I think.
I don’t, in any way claim that the Corona virus is not deadly and that it has not had a profound and deeply saddening impact on a country and world. I can state without argument that COVID-19, claimed the life of my 88-year-old mother. I love her and miss her every day. What you won’t necessarily hear anywhere is that many of my mom’s poor health issues were brought about by a lack of exercise, followed by obesity which was then followed by diabetes. It was a daisy chain of highly contributing factors that aided the Corona virus as it took her from us. You see, the Corona Virus, all by its little lonesome, is a bad ass killer that really doesn’t need any assistance from anyone in its attempt to extinguish life.
You see, things like alcohol, smoking, obesity, lack of exercise, & poor eating habits ride with Covid-19 like a marauding gang of destroyers, and they are allowed to march through society easily noticed but blatantly ignored because it’s more sympathetic to say that Covid-19 “got him”, not the can of soda and bag of chips that lurked in his pantry just waiting to pounce on our… wait, MY weakness. I love Bud light, Dr. Pepper and M&M’s so I am in no position to throw stones, so when it comes my turn to answer for my decisions & actions, please just say that the four-pound bag of peanut M&M’s in his pantry “got him.”
Come to think of it, maybe the recent arrests of all these once brave but now foolish front-line protesting truckers will further interrupt the steady supply of soda and M&M’s from ever reaching my Walmart and thus my pantry. Eureka! I think I understand the madness now.