It’s November and Thanksgiving is just a few days away. A time when family and friends will get together once a year to fellowship, over-eat and fawn over foods they only get to ingest during this day of giving thanks. Everyone had their favorite but mine is the chocolate pie, hands down, no contest. Just to be clear, if anyone claims cranberry sauce is their favorite, they are not allowed to eat at the adult table.
The bird is obviously the center piece and great care should be given to it’s prep work so as not to spoil the rest of the side dishes. The spread that often results from the efforts of so many can often be overwhelming. There can be so many excellent dishes available that in my case, I have to pace my self, because there is very little in life that is more disappointing than not having room for chocolate pie. I know I am an adult and I can eat my dessert whenever I want, but I try to be a good example for the kids. I realize how noble that is, but I just consider it as; doing my part to shape the leadership of the future. Thanksgiving can often be as much about sacrifice and discipline as it can be about thanks.
I give early thanks for having the foresight to not start any fights. I know what you’re thinking, If you try to slice into my chocolate pie before I do, there is a good chance you’ll get a knuckle sandwich to go with that jiggling cranberry jello sauce stuff you brought, but thats not what I am talking about. I’m talking about the possibility of a family squabble before, during and after the gathering. There is no place for Richard Dawson or if you aren’t as old as me, Steve Harvey at the gathering. So, I will hopefully give you tips on how not to ingest a knuckle sandwich during these loving and special meals.
Sometimes, getting mentally prepared for whatever is thrown at you is necessary from some, but not for me anymore. Understanding that every holiday gathering has a family member that hasn’t mastered the skill of filtering their thoughts before they escape their lips is one of the most difficult tasks of the holidays.
I am certainly not casting stones in the glass house that I currently reside, because my brain fart filter has become as flimsy and unreliable as the cheap paper masks we were told could stop a screaming molecular Covid 19 bullet.
Every family has a Chatty Kathy or an Gabby Goober that can’t help but give you the details of his recent bowel resection surgery and in their words… “when it comes to clinching back old number 2, I just don’t have any holding power anymore, when it’s time to go man, I gotta go”. Now, some folks would find that annoying but considering the vast amount of food that is about to be consumed, I would find that to be top quality information. It gives me a strategic advantage over those in attendance that Gabby Goober or Chatty Kathy hasn’t gotten to yet. So, you can bet your jiggling cranberry jello sauce stuff that you won’t ever catch me positioned between ole Goobs or Kat and the toilet. Every cloud has a silver lining.
I hope you don’t get the idea that I don’t like family gatherings, quite the contrary, I like them very much, I am just not good at them, I never have been. No one will ever mistake me for a Gabby Goober and even though I have had my share of doctor visits, I won’t tell you about them. Although I did recently have a colonoscopy and I actually have some excellent color photo’s I could share, but I won’t. You are most welcome.
I truly enjoy the sounds and the noise that comes with Thanksgiving and Christmas meals, I really do. I tell you all this so that if you catch yourself ducking conversation or stepping outside to smoke, even though you don’t smoke, do what I do, just stop and listen, or eaves drop if you may.
I am going to listen to what is important to those that we thought enough of to share a once a year meal with. Listen to their aches and their pains, the successes they have had and yes, the failures. I will try and listen to the happy times they have had and the sadness they have experienced throughout the year. I will also try to power through the intricate details of a bowel resection surgery with gusto, but if it gets in the way of the Cowboy game, I am liable to whip out some 8×10 glossy’s of an air filled colon. That will shut down any conversation in a hurry. Think of it this way, if It was important to Chatty Kathy to share it with you, one time a year you can make it important to you.
I say all this because I heard something that I found very helpful and eye opening. It made too much sense to ignore. Trust me, the points I am about to make are easier understood when they are heard, rather than read, but since this is the only format I have, I’ll to try and write it as effectively as I can, here goes;
I am 60 now, the average life expectancy for someone my age and gender has risen considerably over the years but even with eating right, diet and exercise, the average age is 80. So, you could say I have 20 years left to spend with those that are closest to me, I think that’s pretty dang good! Trust me, I do hope it’s much longer than 20 years, after all, George Burns lived to be 100 and he chain smoked cigars! You never know.
Now let’s take the longevity of our mortality from a different angle and turn years into days. Let’s say you only see your son or daughter or mom or dad or family members and even Gabby Goober roughly five days out of the year (Christmas/Thanksgiving), means that if I am pushing up daisies at the age of 80, I have just 100 more physical days to spend with them. You get that? Just 100 days of talking to, listening to, watching a movie with, going for a walk with, cooking with, shopping for Christmas gifts, making eye contact with, or sharing a hug! I think you get the point. Time is a precious commodity.
After hearing this common sensical revelation, I decided that I will try to get better at the holiday gatherings because, if I am limited to just 100 days of seeing folks that I care about, I probably should forget the fact that the turkey was dry or the pie was runny or the kids made too much noise, or the Cowboys lost again or even if Gabby Goober or Chatty Kathy want to talk about their latest doctor visit, I should just enjoy the hell out of physically being in front of all of them. It’s never easy for me, but you can bet your bowel reduction surgery that I will try.
So this year, listen carefully, smile gratefully, and hug generously. Use those hundred days to the best of your ability.
Happy Thanksgiving folks, do it well.