“What say you Fussy Britches!”
So many headlines have happened since my last blog that I simply became overwhelmed as to what to write so I froze and didn’t write a thing. That seems to be a weak approach that shamefully I am proud of. Catch that? How can I be shamefully proud? Who know’s, but I think it qualifies me for a potential life in politics. Get ready, I just might enter the Political arena as soon as I can work up the courage to be proudly proud of my platitudinal skills. I am getting there, so please be anxiously patient. I will let you know when I am ready.
Rachel Welch passed from the earth last week. This news sent me into a royal depression because not only did beautiful Rachel aid Andy Dufresne’s escape from prison in the film, The Shawshank Redemption by covering up his tunneling efforts with her incredibly gifted physique, she also managed to absorb the new nickname of “fussy britches”. I am seriously trying to keep things family friendly here, but her scantily clad cavewoman poster proved beyond the shadow of a doubt that women in 10,000 BC were smoking hot. The evidence is irrefutable.
If you watched “The Shawshank Redemption” you know that Raquel had a little assistance in hiding Andy’s tunneling efforts from Rita Hayworth, another exceptionally gifted woman, but she simply can’t compare to a Raquel, a woman that can take down a charging Tyrannosaurus Rex and still look spectacular in a Wooly Mammoth bikini…RIP Fussy Britches, thanks for the memories.
President Biden fell on the stairs leading up to Air Force One again… I have reflected on this repetitive missteps from our beloved leader of the free world and have come to TWO immutable facts:
He is too old to climb that many steps! Hell I am practically half his age and I stumble stepping over the threshold entering Walmart from time to time.
Perhaps we should have held back a billion from the 100 Billion in payments to Ukraine and used it to invent an escalator or elevator for the President to use as an expedited entrance tool for his trips on Air Force One.
Oh Wait… the elevator and escalator have already been invented! If I remember correctly, the Roman Coliseum, which began construction in 69 A.D was built with manpowered, counter balanced pulley and weight systems, so that man eating tigers and lions could be hoisted from the catacombs of the Coliseum and magically appear on the floor of the arena, and to the delight of the crowd, they could then devour Christians and Gladiators indiscriminately. I am told it was most entertaining if you are in to that kind of stuff.
Armed with that tidbit of historical Roman Coliseum knowledge, I am led to believe that since we refuse to provide the President of the free world with a safer and more convenient way to enter an airplane, we would rather watch an 80 year old man tumble down four flights of stairs. Apparently, It’s much more entertaining. Not much has changed since 69 A.D I reckon.
Speaking of entertainment, the Super Bowl LVII (57 in English) was a very exciting game until the referee’s decided they hadn’t seen their fair share off the lime light and took over the game in the last two minutes. Don’t get me wrong, I am a Chief’s fan and subsequently I am overjoyed that they won the game, but the ending was as boring as watching cheese spoil.
Lastly, a Norfolk Southern train derailed in a small Ohio town two weeks ago, spilling tons and tons of hazardous chemicals into the community. After a good ole fashion corporate brainstorming session on how to deal with the calamity, the company “thinkers” decided it would be best for all parties concerned to simply “burn off” the remains of the hazardous spill.
After a lit Marlboro was thrown in the direction of the leaking Vinyl Chloride, one of the base ingredients used to create World War I Mustard Gas, a mushroom cloud of toxins could be seen from Saskatchewan. Approximately 3500 fish, frogs, salamanders, snails and other water dwelling creatures all went “belly up” after the spill. The critters that managed to survive the contamination subsequently sprouted a second head. The residents have been told by Norfolk Southern Rail and the EPA that the air and water are perfectly safe, but do recommend mixing their drinking water with a some Jack Daniels. As a caveat they also strongly recommended that the wonderful residents of East Palestine Ohio generously lather up with lots of SPF 10,000 sun screen before going to bed. You simply can’t make this stuff up…